My Favorite Pop Culture Moments of 2008

I'm feeling a little better since my first post of today, and felt really inspired to wrap up 2008 in terms of popular culture. These are the top 10 moments I feel really captured and molded my 2008. Enjoy.

10. Paris Hilton runs for president. When the McCain camp was running ads revolving around the celebrity factor of his opponent, Paris Hilton released her response. She filmed an excellent campaign commercial where she made some, I hate to admit it, fantastic points, on the energy crisis. See you at the debates, bitches.

9. Russell Brand hosts the MTV Video Awards. MTV was apparently hit by the economy as much as the rest of us in 2008 and brought in Russell Brand, a relatively unknown British comedian, to host the Music Video Awards. After his opening bit insulted President Bush and the Jonas Brothers' vow to remain virgins until marriage made the audience squirm with shock, awe and discomfort, my friends and I were sure MTV put him on the next emergency flight to Britain. 

8. Twilight. Not my favorite to participate in, but the phenomenon I found the most fascinating in 2008 was the takeover of "Twilight." Subbing, at least three students per class would be reading the book. My peers were reading the book. My peers' parents were reading the book. People ran to the movies. Grown women fantasized about teenage vampires. I stood by in awe mumbling, "W...T...F..."

7. Sharon Osbourne Attacks Megan Hauserman. Sharon Osbourne hosts "Rock of Love Charm School." Megan Hauserman tries to manipulate her way through yet another reality show and fails. Sharon Osbourne is amazing. Megan insults Ozzy. Sharon pours a drink on her. A cat fight ensues. The crowd goes wild.

6. Kaitlyn Maher on America's Got Talent. A four-year-old girl brought tears to the eyes of, I'm guessing, 60% of Americans in June. When Sharon Osbourne asked her if she was from New York, the little girl said, "Um. I'm from America." If that didn't bring tears, Sharon asking her if singing made her happy should have. If you were completely heartless, you too were reduced to mush when she started singing, "Somewhere Out There." Adorable. 

5. Fanny Pak. I love a gimmick, and Fanny Pak was a walking one. Easily my favorite on MTV's "America's Best Dance Crew," they gave me a deeper appreciation for hip hop on the Missy Elliot episode. I texted for them week after week, and they were still robbed of a win. I was crushed. 

 4. The Snuggie infomerical. At first, I found myself mumbling to myself that the Snuggie was a product for the epitome of lazy people. Upon more investigation and struggles to keep my quilt over my shoulders as I made my morning coffee, I realized I was one of those lazy people. Please, someone give me a Snuggie. 

3. The Britney Comeback. Perhaps not a big-time pop culture moment, but the first time I heard Britney Spears' "Womanizer." I tried to change the channel and escape from the Big Britney Comeback of 2008, but it was on two channels. So after several seconds of "womani-shit, zer, womani-damnit," I let myself go and found myself rocking down the road. It's Britney, bitch. 

2. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Need I say more? Who could forget seeing Russia from our houses or my personal favorite, "for all you Joe Six Packs playing a drinking game at home...maverick." If you're keeping score, the Vice Presidential Debate was also the night of El (Vice) Presidente margaritas for Jessica and I. A couple of regular Jane Six Packs ourselves. 

1. A RickRoll of Epic Proportions. My personal favorite pop culture moment of 2008? When Rick Astley, himself, RickRoll'd the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Honestly? The Rickroll has re-invented Rick Astley, and as he sat around his feast that evening, I'm sure he was thankful for YouTube. 

Battling Holiday Cynicism

Wednesday, I substituted. Please, hold the eye rolls.

I had your traditional high school English fare, apathetic eleventh graders who would rather yell at each other about name brand sweat pants than do worksheets covering exciting topics like parallelism, tone and vocabulary. In my rush to leave (I assumed there would be a two-hour delay since "all the other counties were doing it"...but we know what they say about assuming), I forgot my cell phone and realized it was missing when I was about 15 minutes away from the school.

This usually wouldn't be a problem. I'm not too terribly attached to my phone, but my parents were flying and I get all sorts of nervous when they fly.

Needless to say, I was excited to see my teacher had planning the last period of the day. This typically means I can go home after picking up the room and writing up my daily report as long as there aren't any other areas in the school that need me.

And...there wasn't...until there was. I was a little upset about this. One of the special reading teachers left and the teacher covering her class needed a little help. I've never been with a special class like this before. From what I observed, this was a class for students who need extra help with their reading and writing skills, there were also a number of behavioral problems in the class.

I didn't think of it until today, but out of the eight kids I helped with the lesson, one really stood out. One of the boys in my second group sat so contently, listening to each word I went over, nodding his head and writing down his answer. When I asked if things made sense, he looked at his paper and nodded. He told me he liked that I wasn't being very loud and asked if I would be back again with the class tomorrow.

That, my friends, is an original moment of, "this is why I want to teach."

Two Weeks Notice

I suppose my snobby tendencies finally got the best of me last week. I have been trying to fight it for so long, because, honestly, there are a lot of great people in the world who don't need college in order to be great. I tried to tell myself I was just a poor, helpless victim of the economy and my first degree has a poor market, anyway. (You know, journalists get laid...off...) 

I couldn't do it anymore. Last week, something terrible and mean kept mumbling, "you went to college, you're too good for this" in my ear. 

Not to mention, my manager is seriously starting to grate on my typically overly-cheery Christmas spirit. 

Apparently, though, because my manager consistently has to have the last word in any matter, I've been exhibiting a bit more tension than usual lately and I'm stressing her out. I guess, when I'm "stressed out" after a day of substituting and have to report to work for an additional five hours, it makes her "stressed out." Her solution to me was to not worry about the money and just quit one of the jobs. 

I'm not sure if she meant substituting or her store, but I have never had a boss tell me to quit their job before. Perhaps I threw her for a loop. 

Regardless of where I was supposed to quit, I gave her my two weeks notice. My last day of undergarment peddling will be December 27th. That knowledge is the best Christmas present I could ever provide myself with. 

I'll be able to really focus on substituting until I start classes on January 12, and after that I'll still be able to be in the schools on Wednesdays. After that, I'll just figure something out. Maybe tutoring? I've gotten more comfortable helping kids with lessons with how many times I've had to really look back into my mental bank for answers to high school and middle school English questions. Just getting myself an MLA handbook and re-introducing the Oxford comma to myself, and I think I'd be pretty okay as a writing and grammar tutor. 

We'll see. 

Oh, and one more thing. To Miss Brittney Spears: curse you and your catchy little "Womanizer" tune. Every time I hear it (read: every eight seconds I'm not listening to the Sirius-XM Christmas station), I get closer and closer to looking into downloading Circus. Curses. 

The Chubby Buns Award and Other Stories

My capers in the past week have included 7th and 6th grade English classes, post-anesthesia Marley and everything in between. (Let it go on the record that my reference of 'capers' directly ties to Matt on VH1's "The Pick-Up Artist") I'm not entirely sure to begin, so I'll start with the most unrelated to the rest of what this blog might contain, first. 

I had my dear little Marley fixed on Wednesday. Just in time, too, as earlier in this week I was noticing the common early signs of heat in kitties (including that obnoxious meow/howl/cry). I took her in around 7 on Wednesday morning, dropped her off and the vets took control from there. When I picked her up around three, she was still quite drowsy from the anesthesia. 

I don't remember my cats that my parents now have possession of (sadly, cats became cat last summer) after they were fixed. Partly, because the vet convinced us to do the tendonectomy (alternative to declawing that my mother and I have decided, in retrospect, is just as bad as declawing) and the spay in the same go and wanted to keep the little dears over night for observations and partly because I was, well, 11. The vet tech said that she may be a little growly and confused for the rest of the evening and to treat her like a drunk person, making sure she didn't stumble down stairs or off of furniture (and, boy, do I have experience with that). 

I let her out of the carrier and was in for a real treat before I left for work. Drugged-up Marley was the most tragically adorable thing I had ever seen in my life. She wandered in circles and wobbled everywhere she went and slid off of my couch like melted kitty butter. I do not condone drugging up your animals (this disclaimer seems oddly necessary), but if you can one day experience a post-anesthesia animal...it is far funnier than a post-anesthesia human. 

Now, you're wondering where the Chubby Buns Award comes into play with this. Or, at least, I would be. 

Subbing has improved greatly since my first experience. My second school was a real treat and so far my favorite. I had seventh grade English for a whole day. Right off the bat, I knew the school was run much more smoothly than the first. The staff was very helpful and the kids, while still middle-school-wonky, were funny. I had a really good time there. The team of teachers I was with invited me to eat lunch with them in another teacher's classroom and took my sub number at the end of the day to request me later in the school year. 

(As an aside: I am very well-aware that this is, gasp, networking. If any of you followed me in the summer of 2007, you know that I developed some serious issues against networking. However, my scheme of "I'll get by and get a great job on my charm and adorable-osity alone" has worked out incredibly well so far (link inserted for sarcasm) that I think I may just bite and do the adult thing and start to network while I'm at these schools. Boo.) 

This same second school is the school where I confiscated my first note. In a moment of pride and true teacher-dom, I told the students in question that if they behaved for the rest of the class, I would not put their names on the note and turn that into their teacher with their work. They quickly agreed to this deal with me, and were quiet...so naturally I did the mature thing and kept the note. In it, was a glorious drawing of a human's derriere labeled "The Chubby Buns Award" and a conversation about the award. In my continuing professionalism and maturity, I have proceeded to show the note to my friends and am toying around to submitting it to FOUND magazine. 

I'm definitely pursuing the right career path. No doubt in my mind. Subbing is stressful. I guess there was a reason I blocked out how we treated substitutes back in my day (that...and a reason I blocked out middle school...they're a different breed of wonky...). I think this really will be a good experience to help me figure out where my teacher-self will want to end up in three years, especially if I am asked back to schools and able to commandeer a bit more respect from the kiddos. 

It's getting late, and while I have a bunch to say, I do have to get up at 9 so I can head out to Shenandoah University in Winchester for my affiliation into the Winchester Alumane chapter of SAI. 

I shall resume more wonky stories tomorrow. 

My creative juicer is broken...

Tonight my manager addressed me as "creative mind." That title couldn't possibly be farther from the truth right now. I've been down in the dumps-y all week and unable to finish anything worth merit, but I figured I'd give it a late night college try. 

Monday the TV dude came. Well, a new TV dude...not the previously mentioned Dish Network Creeper. He told me that the aforementioned creeper installed a sick HDMI cable and that my TV woes would be over. I spent the day celebrating this fact, I think. Oh, and attempting to talk some sense into admissions at Shepherd to get them to forward my application as a non-degree seeking student quick like a bunny to Tracy Seffers for my English classes next semester. 

Tuesday was my first adventure in substitute teacher land, and boy was it. Eighth grade English. I went to the school on the "bad" side of town with the "bad" reputation. Those kids sure did give Ms. Joan Jett (I don't give a damn 'bout my bad reputation...) a run for her money. Halfway through the day, the most logical action to take was turning off all of the classroom lights and hiding under the desk instead of retrieving the kiddos from lunch. I'm pretty sure it was a combination of factors. Mostly age, though. Eighth grade is rough wherever you go...even in my lily-white, middle class, picket fence and cookies side of town when I was thirteen...eighth grade sucked. I'm due to sub tomorrow, but my tummy is acting all weird (I tried to bring back my stomach of steel this weekend -- no success), so I'm getting up at 6 in the morning to see how I feel, after that I can call the sub system and call out. 

Really, all I think I need is a day off. After a really rough first day of subbing (even the secretaries at the school I was in felt bad for me...) I had about an hour to re-charge my batteries at the new-ish Starbucks in Hagerstown and then had to report to work to close. I proceeded to close most of the nights last week (I need time to sub) and worked all weekend and now I'm exhausted. My body may very well be screaming for a day off to get my self settled for a big train adventure starting on Sunday. 

Yes, train adventure. For those readers who don't know me...somewhere between my spring break trip to San Francisco and a visit to my mother when she first moved into the new house in Texas in April, I developed a paralyzing fear of flying. I discovered the greatness of Amtrak over the summer, and it's a three-day journey from here to there, but an enjoyable one with a lay over in Chicago (yes, I'm aware this makes no sense geographically...). I'll get to that later. 

Basically...nothing's been really coming out as far as words are concerned, and I'm truly worried that all this retail and yelling at kiddies is going to turn my brain to more mush and I won't be able to recover when I start classes. 

But, then again, I worry too much. 

How are you? 

Thank you, God, for streaming video

For the past two days, I've been pretty down in the dumps. Basically because of a combination of being stuck at this job and totally impatient for school to start again (my element), irritation with change (not of the political variety) and over all restlessness and an ill-stimulated brain. A friend of mine came to the rescue with the most incredible viral video to hit my Safari screen...

PUPPY CAM!

Seriously, click that little link up there for the biggest influx of adorable you'll ever see on your web browser. These six little Shiba Inu puppies spend the day frolicking in a pet carrier of sorts. They sleep a lot, but there's typically an evil little instigator that wakes all of the puppies up - or at least attempts to by hopping on top of the pile-o-adorable. 

I highly recommend making the video small and keeping it up in the corner of your screen while your computer is powered up. They're broadcasting the video, for the most part, 24 hours a day. When the puppies are sleeping there's a screen saver, so you'll know when it's nap time for a few hours. They just sort of do their adorable little puppy thing throughout the day. It's sure to bring you a smile. 

My entire family is hooked on puppy cam as of this blog update. 

I have my first substitute job tomorrow morning. A middle school English class. The school doesn't have the greatest reputation in the county I'm on the sub roll for, but I've been told that it's merely just a reputation and not reality. I'm excited and nervous. I'll be leaving the house tomorrow at 6:30, teaching until about 2:20, taking a break to recharge my batteries (drink coffee) and working at the outlets from 4-9:30. 

Should be an adventure. I'll let you know how it goes. 

Enjoy puppy cam! 

Be Nice.

Be nice to your retail associates. Treat them with respect, not like they are stupid. They are not your maids and are sometimes (usually) multi tasking. 

There are many times at work when I am the only associate on the floor. My managers are usually in the back with our stock or taking care of administrative things. It's frustrating when people just starting talking at me. Not acknowledging me with some sort of greeting, just holding something up and yelling "do you have this?" The irritation on their face when I say I'll go look is incredibly obvious, and it's worse when we don't have the item at all. It honestly isn't my fault that we don't have what you are looking for. I didn't call and ask specifically for that item to be left in the factory on shipment day. 

Chances are, if you greet me and hold a conversation with me while I'm helping you, I'll show you something else you may like or offer to order something for you. However, if you treat me like an idiot I will act like an idiot and apologize and get back to re-hanging the mountain you left in the fitting room. 

And, one more thing. In this economy, your retail associate probably has a college education, or is working to finish a college education. Please do not speak to them like they have a fourth grade education. 

I suppose I'm a little disgruntled. I love my customers that come in and chat with me. Chatty customers aren't the norm, so I'm excited that a new opportunity has finally presented itself. 

I'm officially on the substitute teacher roll for Washington County, Maryland. They can call me starting tonight for future jobs. I'm really excited about it. This will be a good chance to put myself around students and get my foot in the door for a local school system. I'm not sure when my first job will be, but I'll keep you posted. 

In general - this week...try to be nice. The results always end up incredible.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Good: 

• Wing night at Tony's...$4.50 pitchers and great friends
• Talking to the HR woman for Washington County Public Schools and learning I can start subbing as soon as my screening clears (in two weeks!) 
• Telling my manager at LHBP that I'll need to limit my hours there when I start subbing
• My kitty attacking my boyfriend's lap top case
• My boyfriend in general

The Bad:

• Our district manager came in today. I didn't greet her. I got in trouble
• Spending 7 hours putting away bras and not really having customers
• Closing on aforementioned wing night
• Not being too sure what I'm getting into with this subbing business

The Ugly: 

• My parents left yesterday. I miss them. 

Perhaps, a silver lining?

So sorry I've been in a slump these past few days. The retail world has gotten to me quicker than I expected. I feel like the whole world is belittling me or doing things just to make me feel like a moron, which I don't like. And, will someone please explain the international appeal of Hagerstown, Md.? I have had more non-English speaking customers and customers visiting from other countries in the past week it's been ridiculous. All I know is, if I had family or friends overseas and they came to visit, I wouldn't make them endure Hagerstown, especially with our proximity to D.C. To each his own, I suppose. 

The monotony of it all has just put me in this irritable slump that I can't seem to get out of. The juices of creativity just aren't there and I have absolutely nothing to say. I go to work, and while there I put bras on hangers and curse people who mess up my panty tables. My managers tell me I don't know any better and send me home. I get frustrated, sit on the couch like a lump and write in my blog. Something has to change. 

It can't all be or stay bad though, right? Absolutely not. 

I arrived home today to discover a missed call from Washington County Public Schools. My heart skipped beats as I listened to the voice mail. A woman from Human Resources is interested in pursuing interest in my application to substitute teach to the next level. I can sign up for a time to get my finger printing done on Monday if I give her a call back. 

Relief. 

I wanted a subbing gig from the moment I decided to come back here. It will give me a bit more insight into education before I enter it as a student again and will also help get my foot in the door in a local school system. If I can secure a position, I'm going to reduce my hours at LHBP to give me a few days off during the week to be open to sub. 

Things could certainly be looking up as far as me feeling restless, useless and bored. 

I'm optimistic for the first time in a few weeks. Now, to help this get off the ground without too much turbulence. 

Thanks for reading.