Ignore Any Grossness

I'm in the process of making life over here at Phase: Next a little cooler looking. A make over in anticipation of spring, if you will. The current header, I am aware, is a giant picture of yours truly. I don't want to lose my groove, and it probably will resize, but, just scroll down if you don't want to look at anything so ghastly huge. Even better...give me some tips on what to do! I've only done web/photo editing related stuff on computers that were pretty hooked up with all the Macintosh-y bells and whistles. I'm doing what I can with Comic Life, iPhoto, and preview, and if you're a Mac, you know that isn't much. 

Drop me an e-mail or comment if you want to give me a hand!

My Friday was successful here in the Eastern panhandle of W.Va. I went out with the ladies and danced my adorably white tail off thanks to a few of my favorite martini - the pink diamond at 3 Onions. I'm pretty impressed with the makeover that place has been given, and the tunage that was happening. Have you heard Flo Rida's "Right Round?" It's quite possibly the most perfect dance tune I've heard in a while. I think I fell in love. I'm also pretty convinced that "Single Ladies" has started some sort of weird feminist-but-not phenomenon. As soon as the girls in the bar sensed that song was about to play, everyone was a single lady. Including me. It was this bizarre moment of empowerment as all of the guys anywhere near the dance floor backed away looking sort of scared. 

My friend Heidi came in this weekend, too. We had a good time going to get my hair cut and catching up on gossip that we've both missed out on. We entertained ourselves with the official "Mean Girls" drinking game, which made a wonderful movie even more so. 

All-in-all a freaky sort of girly weekend that boys anywhere near the 25443 would have ever been able to understand. Sometimes, we need things like that, especially in the two-week stretch before spring break that seems like it will never end. I need that week more than anything else in the world right now. I need spring weather, too. It was fourteen degrees today. FOURTEEN. Boo. Winter. 

A PRAXIS II book is staring at me right now, and I shouldn't deny its gaze anymore. Seriously, on the help with making this place blog-tastic. (I've toyed around with getting a revamp done, but it just isn't in the budget currently) If you're willing to lend your talents, I'll lend linkage over to your space! 

Wind happens sometimes. Coldplay also wins stuff.

It is unexpectedly cold today because of some crazy wind that blew trash all over my neighborhood and I swear almost destroyed the classroom I was in this morning at 8:00. I'm not kidding. It's super-crazy blowy out. I was upstairs watching a very tall, very skinny tree whip around all over the place. It's going down. I came downstairs because I started to get nervous that I was suddenly going to have foliage in my bedroom. 

Actually, that's not completely true. Jon & Kate Plus Eight and What Not to Wear are on. Hooray for babies and NSFW clothing! 

I'm not supposed to blog about weather, am I? 

I guess I could talk about the Grammy's. I know the first rule of journalism is timeliness, but I'm not a journalist and this isn't a newspaper. I also know that most people don't want me to rant about how much I hate Coldplay. So, you've been warned. I'm going to rant about Coldplay and talk about the Grammy's. Click the appropriate x if necessary. 

I hate Coldplay. Coldplay is quite possibly one of the only artists that requires me to immediately change the radio station. They fall among David ArchuletaCook, Nickelback, and Kevin Rudolf. Honestly, these artists are the only ones I change immediately. It's an honored position. 

Coldplay won Song of the Year for "Viva La Vida." I accidentally listened to the song almost all of the way through once and couldn't get the brooding "I used to rulleeeeeeeeeee the woooooorrrllllddddd" out of my head at all. 

I hate Coldplay. 

I, however, do love Adele and thought her shock/acceptance of Best New Artist was just the cutest thing I had ever seen. Katy Perry's sparkly-fruit adorned dress? Well, she makes me feel like it's okay to dance like a white girl with my cherry Chapstick. (Did I ever write about the gas station employee that hummed "I Kissed a Girl" the last time I bought Chapstick? If I didn't...yes...it happened) Robert Plant & Allison Krauss winning Album of the Year gave me faith. Boyfriend was upset it didn't go to Lil Wayne. Album of the Year for an album that asks someone to lick something like a lolly pop? I just can't get down with that. "Ruuuuuulllllle the woooooooorrrrllllllldddd." 

In general, I actually really liked the Grammy's. I haven't been able to sit through an entire award show for a really long time. Just...don't get me started on Chris Brown and Rihanna. 

Enjoy your Thursday. 

My Favorite Pop Culture Moments of 2008

I'm feeling a little better since my first post of today, and felt really inspired to wrap up 2008 in terms of popular culture. These are the top 10 moments I feel really captured and molded my 2008. Enjoy.

10. Paris Hilton runs for president. When the McCain camp was running ads revolving around the celebrity factor of his opponent, Paris Hilton released her response. She filmed an excellent campaign commercial where she made some, I hate to admit it, fantastic points, on the energy crisis. See you at the debates, bitches.

9. Russell Brand hosts the MTV Video Awards. MTV was apparently hit by the economy as much as the rest of us in 2008 and brought in Russell Brand, a relatively unknown British comedian, to host the Music Video Awards. After his opening bit insulted President Bush and the Jonas Brothers' vow to remain virgins until marriage made the audience squirm with shock, awe and discomfort, my friends and I were sure MTV put him on the next emergency flight to Britain. 

8. Twilight. Not my favorite to participate in, but the phenomenon I found the most fascinating in 2008 was the takeover of "Twilight." Subbing, at least three students per class would be reading the book. My peers were reading the book. My peers' parents were reading the book. People ran to the movies. Grown women fantasized about teenage vampires. I stood by in awe mumbling, "W...T...F..."

7. Sharon Osbourne Attacks Megan Hauserman. Sharon Osbourne hosts "Rock of Love Charm School." Megan Hauserman tries to manipulate her way through yet another reality show and fails. Sharon Osbourne is amazing. Megan insults Ozzy. Sharon pours a drink on her. A cat fight ensues. The crowd goes wild.

6. Kaitlyn Maher on America's Got Talent. A four-year-old girl brought tears to the eyes of, I'm guessing, 60% of Americans in June. When Sharon Osbourne asked her if she was from New York, the little girl said, "Um. I'm from America." If that didn't bring tears, Sharon asking her if singing made her happy should have. If you were completely heartless, you too were reduced to mush when she started singing, "Somewhere Out There." Adorable. 

5. Fanny Pak. I love a gimmick, and Fanny Pak was a walking one. Easily my favorite on MTV's "America's Best Dance Crew," they gave me a deeper appreciation for hip hop on the Missy Elliot episode. I texted for them week after week, and they were still robbed of a win. I was crushed. 

 4. The Snuggie infomerical. At first, I found myself mumbling to myself that the Snuggie was a product for the epitome of lazy people. Upon more investigation and struggles to keep my quilt over my shoulders as I made my morning coffee, I realized I was one of those lazy people. Please, someone give me a Snuggie. 

3. The Britney Comeback. Perhaps not a big-time pop culture moment, but the first time I heard Britney Spears' "Womanizer." I tried to change the channel and escape from the Big Britney Comeback of 2008, but it was on two channels. So after several seconds of "womani-shit, zer, womani-damnit," I let myself go and found myself rocking down the road. It's Britney, bitch. 

2. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Need I say more? Who could forget seeing Russia from our houses or my personal favorite, "for all you Joe Six Packs playing a drinking game at home...maverick." If you're keeping score, the Vice Presidential Debate was also the night of El (Vice) Presidente margaritas for Jessica and I. A couple of regular Jane Six Packs ourselves. 

1. A RickRoll of Epic Proportions. My personal favorite pop culture moment of 2008? When Rick Astley, himself, RickRoll'd the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Honestly? The Rickroll has re-invented Rick Astley, and as he sat around his feast that evening, I'm sure he was thankful for YouTube. 

Two Weeks Notice

I suppose my snobby tendencies finally got the best of me last week. I have been trying to fight it for so long, because, honestly, there are a lot of great people in the world who don't need college in order to be great. I tried to tell myself I was just a poor, helpless victim of the economy and my first degree has a poor market, anyway. (You know, journalists get laid...off...) 

I couldn't do it anymore. Last week, something terrible and mean kept mumbling, "you went to college, you're too good for this" in my ear. 

Not to mention, my manager is seriously starting to grate on my typically overly-cheery Christmas spirit. 

Apparently, though, because my manager consistently has to have the last word in any matter, I've been exhibiting a bit more tension than usual lately and I'm stressing her out. I guess, when I'm "stressed out" after a day of substituting and have to report to work for an additional five hours, it makes her "stressed out." Her solution to me was to not worry about the money and just quit one of the jobs. 

I'm not sure if she meant substituting or her store, but I have never had a boss tell me to quit their job before. Perhaps I threw her for a loop. 

Regardless of where I was supposed to quit, I gave her my two weeks notice. My last day of undergarment peddling will be December 27th. That knowledge is the best Christmas present I could ever provide myself with. 

I'll be able to really focus on substituting until I start classes on January 12, and after that I'll still be able to be in the schools on Wednesdays. After that, I'll just figure something out. Maybe tutoring? I've gotten more comfortable helping kids with lessons with how many times I've had to really look back into my mental bank for answers to high school and middle school English questions. Just getting myself an MLA handbook and re-introducing the Oxford comma to myself, and I think I'd be pretty okay as a writing and grammar tutor. 

We'll see. 

Oh, and one more thing. To Miss Brittney Spears: curse you and your catchy little "Womanizer" tune. Every time I hear it (read: every eight seconds I'm not listening to the Sirius-XM Christmas station), I get closer and closer to looking into downloading Circus. Curses. 

Car Confessional.

I like driving. I wish I could do it more often. I miss the days of $1.80 gas (remember when we were terrified gas would peak at $2.00 a gallon?) where I could drive around aimlessly in the small town where I grew up without my wallet taking a major beating afterwards. My car is private and has always been a confessional of sorts for me. I can think thoughts, or speak them out loud there and no one will know what I'm talking about. 

I just get strange looks from other drivers. 

In the fall, the drive to Shepherdstown from Hagerstown is wonderful. MD-65 winds through Antietam and Sharpsburg. The trees surrounding Antietam are evergreens, but in Sharpsburg the leaves are starting to turn over to fall reds and greens and it's just really nice to watch, especially when you catch a wind and it rains all over your car. 

It's a good place to think. Today, such thoughts were thought and said into the steering wheel as:

• I'm not the music snob I try to come off as. In fact, especially when driving, I'm one of the biggest teeny boppers I know. It's better to drive to something you can turn off mentally and just rock out. 
• I always slow down when I see Antietam National Battlefield park rangers. In my defense, their vehicles look like the police. I'm pretty sure they are the police when you're in the park, and even though the paved roads aren't an original part of the battlefield they could still be protected. Better to be safe than sorry. 
• Bugs in the car are just as treacherous as alcohol in the car. I don't need to explain this. A stink bug joined me today on my drivers side window. I wasn't happy. 
• Not as many people seem to sing in their cars as I would have originally expected. In fact, I sometimes think I'm the only one. 

Someday, I'll tape a home-from-work confession, maybe put it on YouTube. 

Thanks for reading.