Jello, Theft, and Vagina Monologues

Now that I have your attention, prepare yourself for what has been happening since I tried, and failed, to seduce a Genius at the Tyson's Corner Apple Store. Computer is doing great, by the way. 

Let's see, Saturday it was lovely out and I came out of my shell of British, Women's, and Young Adult literature to actually go to a party. Party was good, epic, even. I either forgot or didn't care that I'm positively terrified of Jello and tried a Jello shot. It was just as bad as I thought it would be. It wiggled and glided down my throat and into my stomach, where I am assured it returned to its liquid form. 

Right. Poor choices were had by all. 

I woke up and got going early on Sunday to play a little clarinet in church. Now, whenever I get in my car, I lean on the center console to slide across the seat. Imagine my surprise when the console was completely flipped up. Continue to imagine my surprised when I saw the cups out of the cup holders and on the floor, but my GPS completely missing. 

Cool, right? 

Apparently, some asshole slim jimed their way into my car, felt the need to knock a whole mess of cups over onto the floor, stole my GPS, and proceeded to LOCK MY CAR BACK UP. 

Seriously? Why bother?

Naturally, the cops didn't care and I found out later from a friend that four cars he knew of were broken into in the neighborhood. No clue if anyone called the cops as it was happening, but they were apparently in a dark SUV of some sort. At least my window wasn't broken like the another car. 

Which leads me to my last thing: The Vagina Monologues. If you don't know, learn more here before you judge. No, it's not all man-hating, yes, it's both funny and serious, and yes, I'm in them this year at Shepherd. 

We had our dress rehearsal last night, and I think it went really well. Our first performance is on Friday. If you're in the area, that means at 7:00 in Reynolds Hall on campus. Same goes for Saturday and all proceeds benefit the Shenandoah Women's Center. (You're not allowed to perform the monologues unless you have a beneficiary!) 

And, on that note, I'm going to finally shower and hit the books (again) before my class starts. 

Why I don't like Northern Virginia - an anticipation manifesto

My beloved MacBook (Compy for short) has been shedding plastic edging for a while now. I just found out that my AppleCare protection plan is still good right as a large bit of plastic edging peeled off. So I bit the bullet and made a Genius Bar appointment for this evening. 

One problem: the closest Apple Store is in Tyson's Corner. Which is...McLean, Va...which is...Northern Virginia. 

I lived in Northern Virginia in the summer of 2007, in a lovely apartment on George Mason University's campus. I worked at Wolf Trap. I rode the metro to DC. I liked the DC access and my internship. Life would have been nice, had I not been in the most expensive, pretentious part of the country. NoVa thinks it should be its own state. I say...succeed from the union and be your own country! 

Never have I ever been treated so poorly in my entire life. Never had I ever been so looked down upon for trying to save money (minimum wage anyone?!). I was so tired of upwardly-mobile, young Americans at the end of the summer, I vowed never to return. 

Too bad it's a great area for performing arts, Barack Obama and the closest Apple Store. (First line of business when I win the lottery: open an Apple Store in Shepherdstown)

My reasons for all this hater-ade follow. 

1. An area can easily be upwardly mobile without being pretentious and asshole-y. Come visit Shepherdstown sometime. 

1a. This being said, I'm so down with organic food, hybrid cars, and iPhones, but I'm also poor. Giant brand products from Martin's are fine by me. 

2. NoVa claims to be super-duper green. So, USE YOUR FABULOUS PUBLIC TRANSIT SYSTEM. MetroRail busses get you to the metro station which will get you to your DC job just as fast as your car...and they're electric and cut down on dirty emissions. 

3. Tyson's Corner is the circle of Hell Dante forgot to write about. Too.Many.Shoppers.

4. I honestly thought Wolf Trap was an hour away from my apartment in Fairfax until I left late one night after a concert. I got home in a half an hour.

5. I lost count of the number of people who scoffed when I said I was from (and love) West Virginia. Even more people scoffed when I said I want to teach. As in: "you only want to live in West Virginia and teach for the rest of your life." Yes. I only want to educate and enrich the next generation of Americans. That is all. 

Every time I go back, I hope Northern Virginia will change my mind, provide me with a wonderful experience and make me love it like its residents do. 

I am, however, not optimistic. But...I really want Compy fixed while my AppleCare plan still exists.