'Cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman...

My school doesn't observe President's Day. This could be for a number of reasons...perhaps the past and current president of my university has always been bitter that the day didn't honor them. I'm pretty sure the day doesn't apply to all presidents ever, just the guys that hang out in the White House. They could just feel like Martin Luther King Jr. Day at the very beginning of the semester is enough as far as random government Monday holidays are concerned. Or...they do it to mess with my head. I had school today, but...my bank wasn't open, the Netflix didn't go out in the mail and my student teacher (and real teacher) buddies were off of school. Same goes with all of my government employed friends. I am never aware of President's Day when it happens, until I try to go about my duties. 

So, I tried to observe the holiday as best as I could (after finishing Sense & Sensibility and revising a paper) by doing the most patriotic activities of all. Attempting to file my tax return. 

Don't judge the following paragraphs. 

I think I discovered why so many people flub their taxes each year. I really do. Hopefully, someone in the IRS is reading and will maybe take my blogg-y suggestions to heart for next year. The reason so many American's eff up their tax returns is: they can't figure out which effing state forms to use. 

End of story. 

So, here I am, trying to be all patriotic and get what Uncle Sam says I can have for only working a crappy part-time retail job as well as corporate babysitting substitute teaching, and I can't figure out which state forms to even download. 

Dilemma: my manager at the outlets screwed up when hiring me and MD state tax was taken out of the first two months of my pay even though I'm not a resident. There are several non-resident forms. One for former MD residents (I was, until February, one of those), one for non-residents without any special circumstances, and then there's the form that blew my mind. The form for a nonresident employed in Maryland but living in a jurisdiction that levies a local income of earnings tax on Maryland residents. 

I'm down with the English language, I dig context clues. But...I don't even know what that last bit means. So, what did I do? The only thing a mature twenty-something American could do, call my mommy and daddy. 

I sent dad a link to all of the individual tax forms for the state of Maryland and will send him the simply described forms for my federal and West Virginia return, my W2s, and he, being the glorious, busy CFO that he is will do my taxes. 

I don't know what I would do if my dad was, say, an English teacher. My parents are both incredible, but I did not receive any of my dad's intelligence for finance (my most recent victory is the balancing and reconciling of my checking account. big deal), he said it'll be a treat compared to what he has to do for their taxes, what with his having two jobs in two different states in the course of 2008. 

I was just trying to celebrate. Next time, Shepherd should just give us the day off, and I'll do something safe like eat a hot dog and drink some Budweiser. (What? Fourth of July activities should be more widely pursued)